Thursday, February 24, 2011

When Good Parenting Goes Bad

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that No David was starting to potty train on his own. He then decided on his own that he didn't want to go further in that endeavor. Not one to push on potty training, I let it go.

Instead, I decided that he had to give up his pacifier. A reasonable exchange, I thought. I continue wiping your butt, you give up the paci the APA recommends giving up by 18 months, (I think.)

Yes, he's 2 1/2. I tried to take the pacifier away when he was 18 months, and he cried so hard. And again at 2, and still he cried. I'll admit after those two incidents I didn't press it. Before he turned a year old, he was only using his pacifier at night anyway, so what was the big deal. And there wasn't except if he wasn't going to be potty trained, I felt like I needed something in return.

And did I ever get something. No David is ALL BOY. If there is a stereotype about boys, he fits it. He is so loving, but exhaustingly mischievous. He is the one I worry about breaking a bone, skipping school one day and wrecking the car. He's just a mess, and I say that will all the love in my heart because he is a cute mess. And he is my mess.

And now he is a cranky mess. Ever since he lost the pacifier he has become angry. He refuses to take naps and bedtime is a disaster. He used to go to bed so easily, piling all his animals, giving me a kiss, putting the pacifier in his mouth and off to sleep he would go. Today, it's a totally different story. First, he starts by saying "mommy" about ten times and nothing else. It's enough to drive me insane. When I leave he starts to scream. And doesn't stop. EVER.

It's so bad now that I have begged him to take the pacifier back, but he refuses. He throws it at me while screaming how he doesn't want the pacifier anymore.

If I had known my boy would have changed over losing the pacifier, I wouldn't have been so greedy about making him give it up. It has been pointed out to me several times that I am the cause of this unhappiness and present madness in our home.

No David in happier times


  1. Oh no! But he's so cute in those pics....

    Did you try having him exchange it? Take him to the store and he can get a "big boy" toy for a trade? Have him give it to the cashier?

    I don't know. I also had a friend who had her baby/toddler mail it off so that another kid somewhere could use it. Or even disguise it so another sibling needs it now.

    May you get some rest soon!

  2. My son was addicted to the paci too. He loved trains so when he was about two he gave his paci's to the train conductor at the train museum in Richmond, the conductor was going to give them to other boys and girls. In exchange the conductor gave him big boy toys which were a bunch of dinosaurs. Just an idea, every kid is different.

  3. Smart ideas, wish I had done that before taking away his paci. I feel so bad for him. Am going to try that this week at the zoo. Give it the baby animals, maybe. Although knowing my surly kid...