When Good Parenting Goes Bad

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that No David was starting to potty train on his own. He then decided on his own that he didn't want to go further in that endeavor. Not one to push on potty training, I let it go.

Instead, I decided that he had to give up his pacifier. A reasonable exchange, I thought. I continue wiping your butt, you give up the paci the APA recommends giving up by 18 months, (I think.)

Yes, he's 2 1/2. I tried to take the pacifier away when he was 18 months, and he cried so hard. And again at 2, and still he cried. I'll admit after those two incidents I didn't press it. Before he turned a year old, he was only using his pacifier at night anyway, so what was the big deal. And there wasn't except if he wasn't going to be potty trained, I felt like I needed something in return.

And did I ever get something. No David is ALL BOY. If there is a stereotype about boys, he fits it. He is so loving, but exhaustingly mischievous. He is the one I worry about breaking a bone, skipping school one day and wrecking the car. He's just a mess, and I say that will all the love in my heart because he is a cute mess. And he is my mess.

And now he is a cranky mess. Ever since he lost the pacifier he has become angry. He refuses to take naps and bedtime is a disaster. He used to go to bed so easily, piling all his animals, giving me a kiss, putting the pacifier in his mouth and off to sleep he would go. Today, it's a totally different story. First, he starts by saying "mommy" about ten times and nothing else. It's enough to drive me insane. When I leave he starts to scream. And doesn't stop. EVER.

It's so bad now that I have begged him to take the pacifier back, but he refuses. He throws it at me while screaming how he doesn't want the pacifier anymore.

If I had known my boy would have changed over losing the pacifier, I wouldn't have been so greedy about making him give it up. It has been pointed out to me several times that I am the cause of this unhappiness and present madness in our home.

No David in happier times

Do Over

This afternoon was not a great one. I sent Lance to College Station to attend a football clinic for the afternoon thinking it wouldn't be a big deal. He was only going to listen to one speaker. I just failed to account for his drive time. No biggie though, I figured they would nap, we'd make a Valentine's project, watch a short movie about St. Bernadette and have dinner.

The project sits unfinished, and the movie is still in its case.

I was so frustrated with the kids for various reasons: No David for his continued mischievous nature, The Baby Hulk's continued inability to do one thing I ask of him, and Goose's failure to read any of his school work this week. (Blog entry on that to come later.) And then my little girl: she continues to cry unless you hold her. While I don't believe in letting babies "cry it out" at this stage, there have been times that I have to put her down and let me tell you, the girl has stamina. She is relentless.

You could safely say that I was more than annoyed by bedtime.

And the boys knew it. It took every effort to say prayers and give kisses and tell them I love them. And that I expected more tomorrow. As I closed the door, I promised myself tomorrow would be better. I would do better.

Less than ten minutes later, Goose was in my room bawling. Earlier when No David was turning the television on and off (one of his new moves), Goose had seen something that scared him.

Here was my chance, and thank God, I didn't miss it. Thank God I was a mom instead of a drill sergeant. Hearing my reaction to Goose was enough to bring the Baby Hulk into the room. He decided that he was scared too. Then No David climbed out of his crib, telling us he was scared and wanted to snuggle. How could I turn that down?

I'm not usually a fan of holdouts during bedtime. We have long days, and the boys need their sleep. Period. Everyone has bedtimes, including Squirt, who just asked us when he would get a new time. We wouldn't survive without bedtimes. But for tonight, I'm grateful for the chance of a "Do Over" with the boys. They, no WE all deserved it.

Professional Eater

I've been worried about No David's eating habits for a while now. The kid eats nonstop. He wakes up asking for a waffle and wants a snack as soon as he walks through the door. Before the baby was born, it was easy to delay the snack because we were at the gym five days a week. But since I couldn't take the baby to the gym until she was six weeks old, we were coming home before 8:30 and No David would walk to the fridge or pantry asking for a snack. Sometimes, he wanted lunch.

Sure, I would try and give him something healthy like fruit, but the kid won't stop. Then he starts crying when I won't give him food. I understand his frustration, at times I feel like crying because I want something sweet. He also tries to take food from his brothers something that doesn't go over well with any of them, which leads to more tears. And while he's not overweight, he has certainly not missed any meals.

And quite frankly, he's hard to be around while I'm trying to lose weight. Since he woke up from his nap, he has had two skittles, two bowls of grapes, fruit chews, popcorn with me, four carrots and he still wants more. The problem is that I've been eating with him this entire time. It would seem he gets his willpower from me.

While writing this entry, he has opened the fridge three times and the pantry twice.

I did find inspiration to stop eating sweets though: Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? And please don't tell me he has some disease that makes his face look like he's been stung by a billion bees. I would have to feel bad.

Stumbling At The Finish Line

I had the best surprise on Friday: No David decided he was ready to be potty trained. I was pretty excited as I've never had a kid who decided on his own to potty train. And I'll admit I'm pretty lazy about the whole thing, waiting until the boys turn three before starting. While I don't like changing diapers, I don't mind it like some do. When people talked about having two in diapers, it didn't matter to me.

Yet the thought of No David on the toilet was a great thing.

We were doing so good, no accidents. On Sunday, we made it to church, through church and home. He was so proud to wear underwear. This morning we dropped the boys off, went to the gym, grocery store and made several stops at the bathroom. At each stop, he was successful.

Then we came home and he has peed twice in the house, not the toilet.

Is it bad that I'm ready to give up and wait until he turns three? I either want him trained or not. Nothing in the middle. Here's hoping this afternoon is better.

The Need for Prayer

Is it bad when the priest offers prayers for you after you leave Mass a couple of minutes early with a screaming child?

I used to go to daily Mass Monday through Friday. Then the Baby Hulk came and let me know that this wasn't going to work with his schedule. He just wasn't quiet ever. I figured he'd grow out of it. He hasn't really. Instead of crying during Mass, he falls to the floor when the priest he likes isn't there. "I don't like this priest!" I told a friend about that, and he said he sometimes feels the same way. And I suppose I do as well. No David is the worst of all. For me to attend Mass at all, I almost have to go into the cry room because he is so loud in general then starts shouting NO if you take a church missal away from him. I try to start in the main chapel, then move to the cry room if the boys get noisy. (And because the Baby Hulk is so vocal about his dislike for daily Mass and certain priests, I have cut my week to just two Masses. That isn't asking a lot considering the grace all of us gain. Like maybe a mom who doesn't scream all day when she has the chance to start her day like that.)

Yesterday was a Mass day. And it was so bad. No David screamed from the start. It was so loud that I had to cover his mouth while getting to the cry room and the priest noticeably started talking louder. Usually he will stop crying in the cry room and start wandering around, something that drives me crazy about cry rooms, but not yesterday. He cried the ENTIRE time we were in there so that I heard nothing at all. The Baby Hulk sat in his pew like an angel waiting for us to get a blessing. No David stopped crying long enough for his blessing, but then as soon as we returned to the pew for what I thought would be three more minutes of Mass, he started screaming again. I just left. I had had it with him and couldn't even wait for the final blessing. I was so flipping mad. Mass is supposed to help not make my day worse. I was so angry at my kid, I couldn't even look at him.

This morning at the gym, I ran into a lady who told me she saw me yesterday at Mass. She then told me how Father had everyone pray for mothers, esp mothers who have four boys and are pregnant that try to go to daily Mass.

No David

There is a book called No David that I inherited over the summer from the person who was cleaning out her house by bringing over bags of junk she didn't want. The bags sat in my car until I could make it to the donation center and Goose saw the book. Turns out that he had already read the book and loved it. Now everyone in the house loves it. It's a fast read and something you don't mind reading over and over. The story is simple: a little boy is constantly doing something that his mother doesn't want him doing.

This is my life. I feel like all I do all day long is tell Snax NO. He is into everything. I had to make a new house rule about how to throw away your gum. Some people might think it's because I am an obsessive freak, but nope, it's because Snax goes into the garbage and chews it himself. The only break I get from him is when he is sleeping and even then, it's not much of a break because he is such a light sleeper. I can't believe that the fourth kid in this house is the light sleeper. I've never told anyone to be quiet because we're a loud house even when we're not mad. But for this kid, people can't even shut their doors normally. He is constantly hurting himself from falling off chairs. This kid climbs on chairs so that he can steal food from whoever might be eating at the time. And if you make him mad, he throws something. It's like everything he does is a big, fat NO.

I hate constantly telling him "NO". I try redirection, but this kid is stubborn. Cute, but very stubborn. He is much more curious than the other boys were at this age and there is no resting when he is around. He is the child that make me rethink the rules on television. He is the one that made me so very tired this week while trying to teach the other ones. He is a mischievous little boy and I love him so very much. I just wish I didn't have to stop him from doing so many things.

Cry Baby

What is more annoying me: me asking how much my foot massage costs at a resort or Kobra crying at least a third of the day? Kobra wins. Especially since I have spent the majority of the time here with him. He has a day and a half left to straighten up his act. Otherwise, when we go to Lost Pines in September, he will be staying with Mimi.

Two

My little Kobra...what a year this has been. I can't believe we're watching soccer because everyone knows that Lance came up with your name after watching Germany. He knew I wouldn't allow Bastian as a name so he managed to come up with your name and threw in the fact that it was a saint name! I was immediately sold. Just like I was with you the first time I held you in my arms.

At two years old, you already have your own opinion about everything. And you are quite vocal about it. You will not be told what to do, when to smile or be nice. You can be more than a little demanding at feeding time. I call it feeding time because that is how you act. You want your food and Lord help anyone who makes you wait or who won't share with you. You are the same way with books, often throwing them at us if we don't read fast enough or enough books to you.

A year ago, you were still crawling and now you are all over everything. Climbing on tables, walking into the pool without anyone, and basically, doing whatever you want. I love how you follow your brothers these days. It is so cute how you want to play with them all the time and sad that there are times when they close the door on you. You love your biggest brother and have become the third brother's boy in this house.

But let's be clear, you are still a momma's boy through and through. And I love it. I love the smile on your face when you see me, I love when you come running to tattle on someone for hitting you and I love listening to you talk. My favorite words from you are "thank you" and "sorry". Best of all, I love holding you in my arms.

This year starts the year of you taking over as cutest in the house, because let's face it, two to four is where it's at as far as Dad and I are concerned. I can't wait to live through this next phase with you and experience the wonder of being two again through your eyes. I love you with all my heart my sweet little boy. Happy Birthday! May God Bless you always. Saint Benedict, pray for my baby boy today and always!

Ring, Ring, Ring

Banana Phone

Basketball Camp

Goose and the Baby Hulk went to Rice basketball camp this week. I don't think there is anything cuter than Biddie Ball, especially the Baby Hulk. He was by far the cutest kid out there, including my other one. He was also the first to get in trouble for refusing the sit properly when camp started. He lost his ball during the intro talks because of his stubbornness. The boys had a great time all week. Unfortunately, the best picture I was able to take was of the child not participating in camp.

Sleepless Nights

There are things that I don't have to try, and I know I don't like them. We all have certain perceptions that we aren't going to change. One thing I always knew was that I didn't ever want a Family Bed. EVER. I don't even want a bassinet in my room, much less a baby sleeping in my bed. It works out great for tons of people, but I knew before I ever thought of getting married that co-sleeping wasn't for me. AND NOW....I can positively say that co-sleeping isn't for me. In fact, I think it pretty much sucks. Kobra has become such a little fuss at night to the point that he screams at the top of his lungs and refuses to go back down in his crib. Then he starts pointing to my room. The second he lays down in MY bed, he closes his eyes and falls fast asleep. It is so hard for me to let him win this battle...I can't sleep because he moves around too much, he doesn't like covers and makes fussing noises and what about intimacy. I mean, how do people who co-sleep have sex with a baby in their bed? I'm sorry, but that grosses me out. I am more likely to move to another room than to sleep with this little kid. Of course, then I lose being near Lance, but Kobra has already ruined that with his presence because he has to be in the middle of us. I am guessing that he spends at least one to two nights a week in my bed. This kid is pretty stubborn, but has no clue how stubborn I am. I promise to win this fight, no matter how many other kids lose sleep in the process.

One Left Standing...

It's Tuesday afternoon and we're down to one person: ME. Thankfully, I have yet to catch this virus, but I'm not an idiot, I know it's coming and I'm sure it will arrive at the worst possible time. The bright side of this is that everyone else will be able to take care of me!

Squirt's downfall came pretty fast in the middle of Sunday night, but he was still unable to return to school today. He didn't seem to mind except that he is confined to his room again. (This makes two weeks in a row for him. Last week it was due to bad behavior. He has already made sure he can come out as soon as he comes home tomorrow!)

Here is Kobra yesterday at the ER getting an IV. As you can imagine, he was less than thrilled with the procedure. Poor kid, he is using all the signs he knows to get more than a tablespoon of Gatorade every twenty minutes.

OMG!!!

Really, this post should be another Note To Self because I know better.

Paul is in town because one of our high school friends is turning 40. The party was family friendly so I planned on everyone attending. Then the Baby Hulk got sick. He started puking Tuesday night and has puked once a day since then. And yes, we have been going slow on gatorade and dry toast. Lance left the show early yesterday because he felt bad. By the time I left to get Paul at the airport last night, he had puked his guts out. Lance was pretty bummed because I quarantined him to the bedroom with the Hulk and he wouldn't be able to go to the party with us. You know, the surprise party which was the purpose of this short trip for Paul.

Kobra showed a small sign this morning that he might have caught the virus, but I shrugged it off. Maybe not shrugged it off, I did ask Paul if we should leave him home. We decided that he was fine. After driving forty-five minutes and with two minutes to go, Kobra puked all over himself and the carseat. There we were in the driveway cleaning him off, hoping the birthday girl didn't arrive.

I left Paul and Goose at the party and made the trek back into the city while Kobra continued to puke. I got home, Lance took him and washed him off while I attempted to clean the carseat. What fun. Did I mention that it's humid in Houston now? Finally, things were settled at home and I drove back out to the party. Although Lance and Baby Hulk were both feeling better, I felt so bad leaving three sick boys behind. But I had to pick up Paul. Thankfully, the baby slept while we were gone. After sitting in traffic, which made my trip more than an hour, I finally got there and was ready to enjoy myself. I figured I'd visit for a bit, then we'd come home and get ready for our dinner.

Five minutes before we were leaving, Goose told me he didn't feel well. He then proceeded to puke all over me, the leather couch, and oriental rug. It was nonstop vomit. In order to save the beautiful furniture, I tried to "catch" it all in my dress. (I have three dresses from Nordstroms, this was one of them.) There was literally a pool of vomit in my dress. It was so bad, I had to take a shower at the party. As did Goose.

Here is the deal. I barely know the people who hosted the party, as in I just met the wife for the first time today. The husband is the brother of the birthday girl, a high school friend I haven't seen in fifteen years! It was "you're Nikki, right?" These two were so gracious to me and my Goose. I felt so bad for Goose, of course, but I was horrified at the thought of their house being contaminated by our virus and their stuff ruined.

After our shower, our hostess gave us some clothes to wear. Goose couldn't comprehend wearing clothes that were too big and asked for a different pair of shorts. I am not lying. The nerve of that kid, right?

I'm home now and everyone is clean (for the time being). I am trying to spray and wipe down everything again, hoping that I'll get my turn with the virus tomorrow as opposed to during the week and praying oh so hard that Paul doesn't catch our virus and take it with him to Chicago.

You think these people want their clothes back? I am guessing they never want to see or hear from us again!

Bluebonnets

All the news has been talking about how great the bluebonnets would be this year due to the winter we had. They were okay, I wouldn't say great, but good enough to take some pictures of the boys. Kobra was in no mood for pictures except when I was trying to take pictures of other people. Baby Hulk was pretty good, he is just getting into that phase where he fake smiles, so I wasn't thrilled with his pictures. Don't I sound like a bitch? Isn't it half the battle when you can admit your failings? So, I can admit that I was more than frustrated with Kobra while taking pictures on Friday. I can assure you that he didn't give a shit what I thought. BTW, the lady who took the last picture of me and Marivi asked us if we had seen the snake! What is it with me and snakes lately. I am so done with nature for awhile.

This was the look on Kobra's face most of the day.

My sweet Goddaughter

You pick now to smile? Really?

I wonder if Marivi is stressing about me smiling just perfect?

Our Lady of Lourdes

In honor of St. Bernadette's feast day, Friday afternoon a friend and I took our children to the Grotto at Our Lady of Lourdes parish off of 290. Oh My Gosh! This place was awesome! I'd seen a few pictures, and honestly, was a bit worried the place would be cheesy. I couldn't have been more thrilled with it, and the children loved it. The boys were a bit spastic that afternoon, but considering Goose had been in school all day and the others were in a car for most of the day, I guess their behavior was normal. The Grotto itself was stunning and had a small chapel inside. Of course, all the kids had to light a candle. It was almost like bedtime, the amount of people the kids were praying for just so they could light another candle. There is also an outdoor Stations of the Cross. Wish I'd known about this before now. Regardless, at each station the boys (or girls) correctly identified the Station and said a prayer. It was pretty sweet. And worth driving home in rush hour traffic. They are building what seems to be a beautiful new church there. I am already making plans to return soon! (And I know Kobra looks awful in his outfit. I guess it's time to change out "extra" clothes in the diaper bag.)

Look!!!

Celebrating their first mass together?

Our Group

My Baby

Do you think I need to worry that somebody said Quick Weight Loss Center has a new client in Kobra? I blame the culture we live in today on his eating habits. I do admit, he's sort of a pig.

A Few of My Favorite Things

My boys playing so sweetly together. I love that Baby Hulk misses his big brothers when we drop them off at school. (I have company in my misery.) Listening to them play together is nothing short of wonderful, especially when they play pretend. It cracks me up to listen to them. They are a creative bunch.

I know Kobra has known what I've been saying for a while, but I love how he responds these days. He mostly listens to what I tell him, but there are times when he voices his displeasure very clearly. Today he tossed all of his animals out of his crib and put them all up when I told him to do so. He was probably also telling me to go eff myself at the same time.

Clementines...I buy three five pound bags a week. My kids love these things.

I love this place! And they just opened one around the corner from us! I love burgers and have tried all the hot spots in town. Miller's is probably my first choice for a burger in Houston. I have a feeling I will be here on a very regular basis.

The sweet, almost 16 year old next door. I love this girl so much. She is the reason I have unlimited texting now. You should see the way Kobra lights up when he sees her face. Goose has been sick this week, and she has checked on him each day. You always hear comments about "kids these days...". Jessica couldn't be further from the norm. She is quite the girl, and we are privileged to have her in our life. Just more day, sweetie!

Kobra will soon have a new nickname. This kid has started climbing ALL OVER THE PLACE. I continually catch him on top of the kitchen table and on the table in Goose's room. I now have something new to worry about with my little spiderman.

Big Love has to be my absolute favorite show on television. I think it's even better than Mad Men and that's saying a lot. I love, love, love each of the sister wives for various reasons and can totally relate to each of them. I'd much rather be one of these women than the dumbass chicks from Sex and the City.

Baby Hulk's love of sports. Please, God, let this kid be good at sports. I already know Squirt and Goose aren't going to be my professional sports players. And that's fine, they have other talents they can focus on and they don't seem to be too interested in playing sports anyway. The Hulk is another story. This kid loves sports, he talks sports, he already has favorite teams and he already hates teams. His first words were baseball and basketball. He just gets sports. He is signed up for spring soccer and is so excited. I just hope he lives up to the hype because honestly, nothing sucks more than a kid that doesn't know he isn't good.

Reading to the boys has to be hands down my favorite thing to do with them. Maybe this is why Goose is such a nerd. I'm kidding, he's not a nerd. I just literally catch him reading several times a day and that can only be a good thing. (But really, what would you call him?) I used to read to Squirt when he was younger, and we had our favorites, which are now Goose's favorites. Now Squirt tries to give me books to read. I'm a little behind on his current recommendations, but I enjoy that he wants to share this with me. Goose is really the best audience and will ask for several books during the day and at night and not just to avoid sleep. When he doesn't like a book, it doesn't bother me because he reads so much that he has definite opinions on what a good book should be. Baby Hulk is finally starting to be interested in listening to me read to him. It has taken almost three years for him to really like me to read, but now he can't get enough of it. I really like how he recognizes the artwork of Tomie De Paola. Of course, he probably does read at night to avoid bedtime. Kobra...well, I have to follow him around with a book to get him to listen to me. He will turn and look at the pictures, then run off. He refuses to sit down and listen to me. I think my shopping spree last fall was definitely money well spent.

My friend Stacy...She just knows me. Thank you, my dear friend for all that you do for me.

Fresh roses...my wonderful hubby had three dozen roses sent to me today. They are absolutely gorgeous. Thank you, Baby!

Keeping House

I am what some people might call a neat freak, picky or basically just a pain in the ass when it comes to my house. I don't leave the house with beds unmade or dishes in the sink. EVER. I am constantly cleaning this place. Even though I've been really depressed about the whole school situation with Goose, I am still a freak about cleaning. I might be spending a lot of money these days, but you can eat off my floor. Everyone knows this about me.

I am trying to teach my kids a lot of lessons, including the importance of being neat and clean. I am constantly telling Squirt that one day he will appreciate my nagging about cleanliness and at the very least, his future girlfriend or wife will. Overall, my boys are pretty neat and like things clean too. Once, Goose went to someone's house and reported to the mother that he couldn't play because the place was a mess. (I might need to work on teaching manners a bit with that one.) Today, my little Kobra was throwing a fit because he didn't like what I served him. I took him out of his high chair and told him to pick up the food he threw on the floor. AND he did it! He placed it back on his tray. Then afterwards, he put his sippy cup in the dishwasher and closed it. He is so my kid!

A Day at the Zoo

Last week, the boys and I were finally all well enough for our long awaited trip to the zoo with the twins. We have had to cancel this outing for three straight weeks. Each week, Baby Hulk would ask about the twins and our plans. I hated telling him that once again they had been cancelled. But Friday was special, so special that I took Goose out of school early to join us. After all, last year we met with the twins every other week. I felt our group wouldn't be the same without Goose. After his behavior on Friday, I am thinking change isn't a bad thing for this group.

After a quick lunch at Niko Niko's, we headed to the zoo. The kids were so excited to see all the animals, especially the tigers and lions. And the weather was perfect! All of the animals couldn't get enough of the cool, sunny weather. How I wish Houston was like this year round. But then we'd be San Diego, and we couldn't afford to buy a house. We even found a new animal. Despite having a membership to the zoo and going at least 10 times last year, I had NEVER seen the grizzly bear. I was convinced the bear was new to the zoo until my friend pointed to the sign saying the bear arrived in 2007. My boys and I were going on and on about baby Miles, the giraffe, and were so excited to see another new baby!

Although Goose had a terrible day, (and I'm sorry, but there is just no other way to put it.), the rest of us had a blast. I love hanging with my best friend and her kids. Even though we talk daily, I love being able to sit and catch up in person and watch our kids play together. Plus, she's not offended when I yell at my kids!

Here are a few pictures from the day. We took over twenty pictures of the kids in front of this damn candy corn, and this is as good as it gets. We didn't even bother trying to get Kobra involved in the picture, we knew better.

Goose had just made a big deal about reading the sign 'No Climbing'. They listen so well.

The kids staring at a caterpillar right before two of the boys got in trouble for acting like they were going to step on it. Yes, one of those boys was Goose.

The whole gang...I really just wanted a picture of the moms, but the kids wouldn't move!