Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Missed Call

I'm the person who has always loved talking on the phone. You hear people say how they hate the phone all the time. Not me. I loved it. I could make any boyfriend stay on the phone with me for hours despite how much guys hate to talk. Even after kids, I could still talk all day. I wasn't the person who hung up just because their kid was crying. I could make lunch, change diapers, referee fights, yell and so on all while talking on the phone.

A few months ago, I decided I wanted to change that. I decided I wasn't going to talk on the phone or get online while the kids were around. I wanted to be fully present to them. Of course, there are exceptions, but for the most part, I have to say I have really followed this and I love it. I think my desire came partly from wanting to be a better mother, but also from the reactions I've had from people in the past when I haven't answered the phone. Because of course, if you don't answer one line, you know another call is coming on the other one. It's like people can't believe the audacity of you not taking their call. With four kids, what else could I be doing except waiting for a phone call? Ninety-nine percent of the time, I'll take Lance's call, but other than that, if I'm eating or with the kids, I usually don't answer the phone. My big exception is the worst time: when I'm driving. It's sad, I know, but that is when the kids listen to music and I don't have to really be present to them. Just the others drivers, right?

I had one friend tell me that we'd never talk again. I admit we don't talk as much, but my first priority is to the kids. The reality is that they deserve my ALL. Not a "just a minute" so I can talk on the phone or check something out online. I don't think I'm creating kids that need to be entertained all the time or that don't know how to be by themselves. I just want them to know they come first. Always.

I still love a good phone call, but overall, I'm happy with the changes I've made. I think the kids are too.


  1. You know, at the risk of sounding like a total loser over the internet, I was so glad to read that you love talking on the phone. It seems like all I have ever do is comment on your posts saying "me too!" or "I agree!"...but on this I can say I am the complete opposite. I would have no problem giving up phone time permanently. Ha! I HATE talking on the phone!! But my real point is that Im impressed that you made a conscious decision to change something you love! Another example of your badassness as a mom.

  2. How can you not love the phone?!!! And I thought we were so alike! Seriously, this has been hard for me. And the thing is now when I do have time to talk, I'd rather just stare at 90210 reruns in my room. I need that downtime after all day long, esp now that I'm doing preschool with the BH. Lance has been super busy lately, and I really notice at the end of the day how busy I am. Plus, being pregnant and 40 isn't all that!

    As for your sweet compliment, thank you! I am so not a model for moms, but I at least try. And hopefully, my kids will benefit from it. Usually I am the one that benefits from them though.

  3. Ha! This may be the ONE thing that we disagree on. lol. I find that my sarcasm/tone doesnt translate that well over a speaker...I find it easier to text or email! Now THAT I am addicted to! I also have this insane mental block about calling people and feeling like I am bothering them. I know, Im nuts.

    Ooh...old 90210...awesomeness. I like Buffy and Angel after the work day. Nothing better than reruns to unwind!!